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  • Writer's pictureMatt Kezer

Life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be..

Sometimes, life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. That’s kind of a weird phrase if you think about it. “Cracked up?” like laughter?, but it’s not the happy laughter. It’s “oh this pain again”.

Every now and then, you make it up a few steps, achieve a goal, feel great. but then that’s over. Either you’ve already transitioned into working toward the next goal that the achievement just kind of washes by, or you end up at a happy but dead end. Bittersweet.

Sweetness that loves to fade away as fast as it can, and bitterness that clings on like a pair of wet tube socks.

But, you hang on to the sweetness, and fight off the bitterness as best you can. And then you find something, in the middle.

It’s not exactly happiness, thought you do like it. It’s deeper. When the bitterness feels like a weight, it feels buoyant.

When you get that pull, that, call. You feel it in your soul, even if you don’t believe in a soul. You get that moment. “Ah, that’s what I was looking for.” It’s not a happy ending, it’s not a dead, depressing end either, it’s both.

You found something that you can carry. You see all it’s ups and downs, and it might very well kill you. But you can take it, you want to take it, all of it. That’s your sacrifice. That’s your answer to life that no one could have found but you. And it’s yours. Then you realize, life really isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, it’s more.

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